Reader Question

A reader asks:

"Hey, you haven't done jack-squat on your website in the last couple of weeks! What gives?"


Answer: You are right. Two reasons: 1) I was in Tallahassee for a week-long work trip. 2) I have been focusing on writing for my other blog, Cindi and Mary Beth's Holistic Enneagram Agency. Check it out.

What do you look for in a presidential candidate?

It crossed my mind during the Republican YouTube debate last night to wonder what I am even looking for in a presidential candidate. I am a terrible judge of presidents: I've already mentioned that I voted for Gary Hart, but also, even though I voted for Gore, I took George W. Bush at face value on compassionate conservatism. So I suppose I should take comfort in the fact that my one vote won't amount to anything.

In addition to just being a poor presidential picker, I also have mixed feelings about many or most political issues.

Nevertheless, I feel compelled to try to pick one. So I've been doing some introspection on what I am even looking for, and here's what I've come up with:

1. I like a president who makes wise financial decisions. This would include not promoting bills that were big wastes of money, and vetoing bills that were huge wastes of money. The Clinton era was a good era for this: I say the Clinton era, because I believe he had a lot of help from a Republican congress in keeping spending low. I enjoyed about the Republican YouTube debate the amount of lip service given to fiscal conservatism, but as we know from the current era, that may be all it is.
2. I would like to see a president who does not feel so entitled as regards our role in other people's countries. I am a Noam Chomsky reader, and I know that prior to the Bush era, the U.S. government was extremely involved in other countries (ex. Chile 1973, East Timor 1975), but at least they pretended otherwise. Now it seems way more overt. Seems dangerous to be so hated. I agreed with Paul on this one.
3. I don't want a president who seems mean or who engages in lots of black and white thinking. A president should be able to project strength and thoughtfulness at the same time.
4. I know from experience that there are a lot of people out there who seem nice, and hard-working, and trustworthy and sincere, then the veil slips and out comes the irrationality and narcissistic rage. I have had some bad experiences with these people in leadership roles, and it's a risk you take when giving someone a leadership role. I want someone who can take on a leadership role without morphing into a monster. And I think sincerity is part of this, so I look at them to try to figure out who is sincere, and yet, I am not necessarily so great at being able to tell. I don't consider George W. Bush narcissistic, exactly, though he's an Enneagram 7, and he certainly falls short where the first three criteria are concerned. I don't consider Bill Clinton narcissistic, exactly, though he's an Enneagram 3. It's because I haven't seen their hateful side. Actually, I have seen GWBush's hateful side, but only a lack of thoughtfulness and the certainty that he is right, not the actual rage.

What do you consider when choosing a president?

Cindi and Mary Beth's Holistic Enneagram Agency

The Half-Assed Game's been going for a week and a half now, so the time has come for a spin-off.

Cindi and Mary Beth's Holistic Enneagram Agency... or is it Mary Beth and Cindi's Holistic Enneagram Agency?... we keep going back and forth on who should be first, Chip and Dale fashion (i.e. "after you, no, after you"), because each of us thinks we've hitched our wagon to a star!

Please visit it! It only has one article so far.

Also, you can get to it by clicking on "My Profile."

What is the best enneagram type for me to date?

I try to introduce the enneagram to new people often, and one of the most commonly asked questions is whether the enneagram tells us which other type we should date or marry. Riso and Hudson's answer is "a healthy type." The conventional wisdom is that while there are predictable patterns to relationships between two types, only you can decide which constellation of joys and problems you'd rather take on. However, today at the Hickory Public Library, I came across an enneagram author who has gone out on a limb and given a list of best and worst matches. The book is The Ultimate Personality Guide by Jennifer Freed, M.A.. M.F.T. and Debra Birnbaum. The chapter headings are: 1. Western Astrology 2. Birth Order 3. Myers-Briggs-Inspired Typology 4. The Enneagram 5. Ayurveda 6. Chinese Astrology 7. Numerology and 8. All the Rest, so you can see that Freed is not an enneagram writer, per se. She is founder of Astrological Counseling Seminars, an institute for astrological psychology.

Here is Freed's list of Best and Worst matches:

One:
Best Match: Seven
Worst Match: Four, Eight

Two:
Best Match: Four
Worst Match: Eight

Three:
Best Match: Six
Worst Match: Nine

Four:
Best Match: One
Worst Match: Two, Five

Five:
Best Match: Eight
Worst Match: Seven

Six:
Best Match: Nine
Worst Match: Three

Seven:
Best Match: Five
Worst Match: One

Eight:
Best Match: Two
Worst Match: Five

Nine:
Best Match: Three
Worst Match: Six

I am a 6, and when I first looked at this chart in the library I only looked at what she said about 6 -- Best Match 9, Worst Match 3. I have trouble with 3s, and who doesn't like 9s? So I thought maybe there was something to this.

The discerning enneagram student, though, will have already caught on to the pattern that the best match for each type is that type's security point and the worst is the stress type. (With two exceptions, the addition of type 8 as a bad match for the 1 and type 5 as a bad match for the 4.)

I am reminded of a cartoon I once saw with a gay girl chasing a straight girl who was chasing a gay man who was chasing a straight man who was chasing the original gay girl, thus forming a circle. I picture the 1 chasing the 7 chasing the 5 chasing the 8 chasing the 2... well, you get the picture. Seriously, though, a world in which you are always the worst type for the best type for you is the world she is positing.

For more articles on the Enneagram, please visit my other blog: Cindi and Mary Beth's Holistic Enneagram Agency. The only Enneagram website of its kind on the web; fresh content posted (almost) daily!

A tank full of friendly turtles

Today my Mom, Dad and I visited the Catawba Science Center's aquarium. They had a large display of North Carolina turtles. All the turtles had been donated and were former pets, and they were very friendly and we were encouraged to touch them. Joseph, the aquarium employee, showed us that the males had long fingers and fingernails and the females' fingers were short. He said he regretted that there were only two females in the tank and lots of males, because the females got too much attention.

I was able to ask him two turtle questions I'd been wondering about.

1) Are turtles' shells sensitive or not? I recently watched the movie About a Son, essentially a glorified interview with Kurt Cobain. Cobain (enneagram 5w4) said that people thought that turtles' shells were numb but actually they were sensitive. I asked Joseph, who told me that they are numb. (I mention Cobain's enneagram type because his was a very 5w4 comment.)

2) Can tortoises swim?

Here is your chance to vote. Don't look it up. Just guess. When five people have voted I will reveal Joseph's answer.